An Overdose of Honesty

apparently, people still think that this is my active blog. well, i check it once in a while, but I don't post here anymore (this one is an exception, idiot!). If you care enough to read whatever stuff I post (not that I post very often), here's the address of my official blog:
 
http://overdoseofhonesty.blogspot.com/

I'm moving on. Goodbye, multiply.

http://overdoseofhonesty.blogspot.com/

I feel empty. Everytime I wake up in the morning I look forward to nothing. I used to have a lot to look ahead to -- friends, volleyball, hanging out at the backfield every afternoon to pig out -- but now there's nothing.

I feel dead. I feel like I'm a vegetable. I walk around my school's corridors looking at walls, when I used to walk around with no time for walls because I had to return everyone's greetings. I feel like all life has been sucked of me by my relentless need to be on top, to excel, to be the best. More than that, I feel like everyone else's need for me to be on top has made me lifeless, too

I feel small. Whenever my classmates talk in their language, I think they're talking about me. I feel paranoid, because I don't understand anyone, and no one understands me.

I feel fat. It doesn't help that I don't get any exercise, and that I don't get any chance to play volleyball anymore. I've always been a big eater, and that doesn't make the situation any less worse. I feel fat. Fat.

I feel thankful that I still feel. At this rate, it won't be long before I stop feeling anything at all, but now that I still have that ability, I want to savor it. I am not numb. Not yet. And I am thankful for that, however bad it sounds.

 

 

 

Masama ang simula ng araw ko. First, kulay kalawang ang tubig na lumalabas mula sa aking Farrah Faucet (na usually ay nag-eejaculate ng clean, fresh, ala-distilled water). Hindi ko tuloy feel maligo. Well, sino ba naman ang mag-i-ilusyong maligo sa likidong mas chocolatish pa sa tae noh? So kumuha ako ng distilled water mula sa aming two door perfume vault, este, ref at naghugas ng fez ko at nagbrush ng ngipinesa ko to death. Pero kadiri pa rin ang feeling. HIndi ko pa rin matiis ang knowledge na bathless aketch today. Nagpapasalamat na lang ako kay Lord (ay, nasusunog ako!) at nakaligo ako kaninang madaling araw before going to sleep.Thank you, Lord (*kidlat*). Tapos, when I was about to board our family helicopter, este, car, i realized that my cellphone wasn't with me. So i looked for it sa buong palasyo, and it wasn't anywhere. Goshness! Hindi aketch lumalabas ng house without the cellphone...para na rin akong lumabas without my puri. Okay fine, so wala naman akong puri in the first place. Pero you get my point naman diba? Anyway amway, tumuloy na lang ako sa aking pag-alis without the phone dahil malelate na ako for my Social Science class, kung saan meron kaming long quiz. Lo and behold, pagsakay ko ng bus at pagreach in ko sa aking ever so reliable and oh-so-fake Gucci bag, nandun ang pala ang putanginang cellphone ko. That after spending 45 minutes endangering my spotless Social Science grade. Chakraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And then when I reached school, nalaman ko na wala palang SocSci quiz. Bwiset! I crammed last night for that one! At ngayon, basta basta lang ipopostpone? Hindi ko matanggap ang realidad. So nagwala aketch. I threw the chairs around, I kicked the tables, I spiked the board. And syempre, ilusyon lang ito. Ano namang tingin niyo sa akin, barbaro? Im civilized, noh? I kept my cool, and I didn't move any of my limbs. I merely fantasized about the amount of sleep I could have saved last night NOT studying for the nonexistent long quiz. I was breathing in regular breaths, thinking happy thoughts, and...well, i slept in class. So now, kinakabahan ako.. What's next? Sana wala na. Pray for me, although alam kong hindi sinasagot ni Lord (*kidlat!*) ang mga prayers na may kasaling pangalan ko. (*evil laugh*)

The Kitty

Keeling over the

Infinitesimal abyss

The unterrified cat

Undulates with surety.

Not fearing, nor

Despairing, it springs from

Up the tree,

Gaining not a gash.

                                                                                         -KU 11Dec06

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The poem above is called an acrostic. My best friend-slash-sister Datu sort of got me into making acrostics. What's so special about it, you ask? Look at the first letter of each line.

There you go.

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HOOBOY. Ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy....This has been a good academic term for me so far. My average is in the 1.2xx range, something I haven't quite achieved before (and don't ask me what my average was when I was in Pisay).      *jumps and contorts body while in the air*     And Datu, just to scare you off, lemme just say...

I got 1.00 for Math 105!!!!!!!!!!!

Mamatay ka sa takot, sexy piggy sister.

Got this from datu (iam-datu.livejournal.com)

This is just sharing of information. To those who have me as a friend in their list then you can see this and reply to this post. This will let me know to some degree if you are really my friend or not. Just use this template to fill out your answers in the comment. Any anonymous replies will be deleted if not identified. Outrageous replies will also be deleted.

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:



HERE COMES THE FUN PART ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of Live Journal?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
17. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

Remember last year's Miss World pageant? Miss Philippines was
everyone's favorite, but Miss Iceland went on to win the crown.
Well, if Miss Iceland Unnur Birna Vihjalmsdottir hadn't won the title,
she probably wouldn't have been made to go up the stage to give a
speech at the 2006 Miss Iceland pageant. And this, uhm, tragedy (click here) probably wouldn't have happened to her. 

We hear this saying a lot: "Sometimes you're up,
sometimes you're down." Well, in this video, she's waaaaaay down.

P.S. Notice how the director wisely shifts to the hosts after Unnur Birna's
fall, but not after we've seen enough to laugh.
And notice how Mr. Male Emcee wisely chooses to focus on his
script card so as to prevent any, err, untoward reactions. Though
in any other circumstance, looking at the script while the camera is
focused on you would be disastrous.

Oh, and before I forget: Miss Female Host, wipe that grin off your face!

ABERRATION
Kit Undug

I pointed to the sky
And I saw a beach.
There were umbrellas
And sandcastles
And floating slippers

And people were happy, in that sea in the sky.

I pointed to the sea
And saw some clouds
They were white
And fluffy;
They were shaped like

Everything, those clouds in the sea.

I pointed to a tree
And I heard it speak.
“You’re imagining me," it said.
"I can’t talk.
I’m not even here.”
So I soaped my eyes
And brushed my ears.
But still it was there,

That talking tree.

I looked into your heart

And I saw love.

Updates:

1. Im going back to school. I SO don't want to, but I have to. I need a degree to
succeed in life, or so I've been told. Im totally enjoying my current job, err, jobs, and the satisfaction of earning of my own money (who wouldn't?); but a year or two to finish my 
studies won't hurt, right? So maybe I'll keep one job (part-time) so I can continue working
while studying. Wish me luck. (A.Y. here starts in September, so you have more or less two months to do that)

2. Im bowling badly. I bowled a 131 in my 2nd game (of a 4-game series of 161-131-192-202) in last night's edition of the team competition I joined. 131, for God's sake! What's happening to me? I know bowling isn't really my sport, but I've been 
able to improve steadily over the past few weeks -- enough to pull my average up to the 175-185 range. So 131 isn't really something to be proud of. No. 
May the bowling gods help me out. Amen.

3. I may be flying back to Philippines. Soon, but only for a few days or so. It's work related, so I'm guessing I won't be able to go around that much. But I'm thinking of spending one or two days in Zamboanga, just to visit relatives and friends. :)

4. I'm finishing my book. I'm trying to cough up enough poetry to fill up a book, which is my first foray into full-time writing. I hope the speed at which I'm trying to write won't compromise the quality of the poetry, which is paramount. I'm still thinking whether to ask someone to illustrate the book for me, or to keep it as it is -- just about my poetry. Whatcha think?

i purposely did not do any work today (along with some officemates) just to watch
the miss universe pageant on star world. I honestly thought miss philippines had
a chance, but alas, she did not even make the top 20. she did, however, win the
miss photogenic award, which really doesnt come as a surprise (this is the 2nd
year in a row and the nth time in pageant history that a miss philippines has won
the award). so there.

going into the top 20, i was surprised to see some contestants make the list. ethiopia was one of them; while she certainly was a beautiful gal, she didn't 
look too enthusiastic walking around in her swimsuit, and she seemed to have 
no energy at all. she looked out of place with all the vigour of the rest of the 
semifinalists. 
thailand wasn't too charming either, as her name would suggest (her first name is charm). i don't really know why she got into the top 20, but then, that's just based 
on looks. she could've done really well in the presentation shows and the preliminary 
interview.
those who surprisingly DIDNT make the cut were miss australia, miss philippines,
and miss indonesia.

the top 10 wasn't much of a surprise, unlike the top 20. my favorites among those
who made the final 10 were canada, trinidad and tobago, and japan. of these three,
however, only japan made the final five. i was surprised that paraguay and switzerland
made the cut, because i thought the way they carried their evening gowns was a little
too ordinary. i think miss usa qualified for the top 5 only because she was in the USA.
she wasn't too beautiful, or too smart. she wasn't very tall either. 

with her answer to the final question, i think Japan shouldve won. she was charming,
she knew how to speak four languages, she nailed the national costume award -- she
wouldve been the perfect miss universe. but puerto rico was too fancy in her chain-y
evening gown and too latina to lose. once again, the judges proved to be latina-centric (it didnt help that they were all living in the americas). so for the 5th straight year, we have a 
latina-looking miss universe, and its beginning to bore me. 

blah.

just a correction... i said in my last post that we were 6th out of 12 teams. i just got a copy of
 the official tally from the organizers of the tournament, and it says there that we're 3rd out of
17 teams. woohoo! :)

Woohoohoo! I scored 255 in the final game of this weekend's FILCOMIN Bowling
 Association's Ambassador's Cup--Team Championships.
That's the highest I've ever scored, (seven strikes and the
rest of which are spares, my first all-closed frame game ever)
and that effectively made me the best individual scorer among
at least 60 participants. I even beat out that former World Cupper
 who was in one of the other teams. I'm going to receive a cash
prize next Saturday, but that's about all the good news.

The not-so-good news is my teammates performed quite horribly.
Except for my dad, who was consistent with his certified average
of 170, everyone else in our team sucked big time. So instead of
placing well, we were 6th in a field of 12 teams. Dang!

Can't wait til next Saturday. My new ball is definitely holding out.
 I am so a world-class bowler now. Blech!

This is the English version of one of my previous posts,
"JE NE SUIS PAS HEUREUX". I know it looks and
sounds better in French, but it makes much more sense
in English, hehe. Enjoy.

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I AM NOT HAPPY

--because no one ever is.
While it is possible
for me to be
happy after I write this,
I am not happy as I do so.

I am not happy.
But I am not sad either.
Because non-happiness
does not mean sadness.
Nor is it necessarily the other way around.

I am not happy
because happiness always comes
after the fact.
Never before or during;
rather, always in the moment that follows.

I am not happy,
because one who says he is happy
takes away the happiness in being happy.
Just like with beauty, humility,
or greatness. A virtue is void when one preempts it.

I am not happy,
but I most probably will be
when I finish writing this.

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations.
        Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is always best.
16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18. The passive voice is to be avoided.
19. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
20. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
21. Who needs rhetorical questions?
22. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

JE NE SUIS PAS HEUREUX

- parce que personne n'est jamais .
Pendant que c'est possible
pour moi pour être
heureux après que je l'écris,
Je ne suis pas heureux comme je fais ainsi.

Je ne suis pas heureux.
Mais je ne suis pas triste non plus.
Parce que non-bonheur
ne signifie pas de tristesse.
Ce n'est non plus nécessairement l'autre voie autour de.

Je ne suis pas heureux
parce que le bonheur vient toujours
après le fait.
Jamais auparavant ou pendant;
plutôt toujours au moment qui suit.

Je ne suis pas heureux,
parce que celui qui dit qu'il est heureux
emporte le bonheur dans être heureux.
Comme avec la beauté, l'humilité,
ou grandeur. Une vertu est nulle quand on l'anticipe.

Je ne suis pas heureux,
mais je serai le plus probablement
quand je finis de l'écrire.

Andre Agassi, 8-time Grand Slam Champion and former World Number 1, has announced that he is retiring after the 2006 US Open in September.

James Blake: "We're losing a legend. Andre transcended tennis."
Andy Murray: "I think to lose someone like him is obviously a shame for the game."
Pete Sampras: "His longevity and desire to compete at the highest level have been remarkable. He has brought a huge amount to our sport and will be missed."
Max Mirnyi: "So great to see him still give back to the sport that has given him so much over the years. Fantastic effort Andre, congratulations on your outstanding career and enjoy your last run."

WIth a career spanning three decades, marked by magnificent displays of talent and desire to win, it will not be easy to forget an Andre Agassi, if at all. His name will forever be etched in the memories of those who have fallen in love with the way he has made tennis the sporting phenomenon it is now, and with how effortless he has seemingly done so.

To Andre Agassi -- tennis ambassador, champion, hero, inspiration, idol, and arguably one of the best to have ever played the sport.



You will be missed, Andre.